FACTORS AFFECTING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES IN NIGERIA

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background to the study

Communication is the exchange and flow of information and ideas from one person to another; it involves a sender transmitting an idea, information or feelings to receiver (Army, 1983). Effective communication occurs only if the receiver understands the exact information or idea that the sender intends to transmit. Many of the problems that occur in marriage (according to Mistry, Jaggers, Lodge, Alton, Mericle, Frush, Meliones; 2008) are (1). The direct results of couples failing to communicate and (2). Process that leads to confusion and can cause good plans to fail. On the other hand, “couples” according to Merriam-Webster “are two persons married, engaged or otherwise romantically paired” that can share their thoughts and ideas with each other. McGrath (2012) opined that communication often improves naturally when we align our desires and attitudes with principles of commitment, honesty, personal accountability and loving actions. Putting our heart right has to come before putting our communication right.

This study is however interested in making known to the public the effect of lack of communication among couples. One of the most important things within any relationship is effective communication. It is vital for relationship to stand the test of time because sometimes things can get complicated (Jeremy, 2012). Learning to communicate with each other does not mean married couples would not face conflicts, nor does it mean they will like everything their partners have to say. According to a communication guide prepared by the University of Florida (JFAs Extension), equally important is how your partner is speaking, for instance, is the tone angry, sarcastic or calm? Non verbal cues such as the arms folded across the chest or lack eyes contact are also important.

Communication is the way all information gets processed in a relationship. Although seemingly simple, it is a very complicated phenomenon. There are verbal and non-verbal messages as well as conscious and unconscious ones. It is no wonder that communication problems underline so many issues in marriage.

  Good communication is a tool, and good tools can make a task much easier to accomplish. But good tools cannot make up for the person using them. In the hands of a skilled cabinet-maker who sets out to create a beautiful piece of furniture, a hammer can be an important tool. But in the hands of someone with unkind intentions, a hammer can quickly become a weapon (Nathan, 2010).

1.2 Statement of the Problem

The home is the nucleus of the society and marriage is the major avenue whereby the society is populated by the number of children that are born in such marriages, thus marital instability produces negative multiplier effect on the society. When there is marital instability, there is a problem in raising and nurturing the children, which may lead to an increase in the rate of juvenile delinquency in the society and lack of peace.

With so many marriages ending tragically in divorce (Adegoke & Esere, 1998), it is more important now to work on the communication between husband and wife. So many problems escalate when there is no communication, and many problems are resolved when there is communication. Truly communication is the key to a successful marriage and without communication no marriage can survive in this divorce-filled world we live in. Effective interpersonal communication skills are essential to social interaction, and to the building and maintenance of all relationships. Poor communication skills can cause irrevocable damage to relationships; affecting productivity, satisfaction, performance, morale, trust, respect, self confidence, and even physical health. Effective communication in marriage is vital to a happy marriage and family life. Ineffective communication is a common problem complaint of couples who are having difficulties (Esere & Idowu, 2000). Ineffective communication can lead to numerous family problems, including excessive family conflict, ineffective problem-solving skill, lack of intimacy, weak emotional bonding and so on. Poor communication style is also associated with an increased risk of divorce and marital separation (Esere, 2008).

Learning to communicate involves hard work and as the divorce rate shows, many couples are unable to reach this level of understanding and therefore issues are left unresolved and tension deepens leading to a lack of understanding and respect. Ultimately, this may lead to couples simply dissolving the relationship for lack of knowing how to fix the problems.

This research deems it necessary to investigate the Influence of effective communication on marital stability. This is because divorce is becoming a rampant act. Several propositions have been presented in the past decade to explain the enhancement or the deterioration of quality of couple’s relationship such as those by Yusuf (2005), which focused on indices of marital instability, Adeyemi (1991), worked on causes of divorce and separation, Isiaka (2005) empirically investigated relationship between divorce and effective communication and found that lack of effective communication in marriage precedes divorce.

In spite of all these however, not much has been done on the influence of effective communication on marital stability. This gap which has been left open is what this research intends to fill. To this end, this study is aimed at finding out the influence of effective communication on marital stability

1.3 Research Objectives

The objectives of the study is to;

1. Identify the factors that affect effective communication in marriage
2. Examine the influence of effective communication on marital stability on the basis of gender
3. To examine the influence of effective communication on marriage on the basis of length of years in marriage

1.4 Research Questions

This research intends to find answers to the following questions:

1. What are the factors that affect effective communication in marriage
2. Are there differences in the perception of married adults on the influence of effective communication on marital stability on the basis of gender?
3. Are there differences in the perception of married adults on the influence of effective communication on marriage on the basis of length of years in marriage?

1.5 Hypothesis

Ho1: There is no significant difference between women and men in terms of communication.

Ho2: There is no significant difference in communication pattern of satisfied couples and dissatisfied couples.

1.6 Scope of the study

The study will focus on married couples in Abeokuta, Ogun State. It will focus on factors that affect effective communication in marriages.

1.7 Significance of the study

This research study would be useful to all married couples and even youths who are about to get married who may want to learn how to keep their families together for peaceful coexistence. This study would also benefit the government who will have crime minimized in the long run if divorce is minimized as a result of openness of couples to one another. The ultimate result would be peaceful coexistence in the family and in the world as a whole.

1.8 Definition of terms

Marriage: The legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman).

Married couples: Marriage of two people (man and wive) from different races or different religions or different cultures.

Effective communication: An Effective Communication is a communication between two or more persons wherein the intended message is successfully delivered, received and understood

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